Q: Will I see elephants in the streets? (USA)
A: Depends how much alcohol you drink.
Q: Is it safe to walk around in the bushes in South Africa? (Sweden)
A: Hmm - so it is true what they say about Sweden?!
Q: How is the time in South Africa? (USA)
A: Reverse. Do not stay too long, otherwise you are too small to fly back alone again.
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in South Africa? And can you please send me a list of those in Johannesburg, Cape Town, Knysna and Jeffrey's Bay? (GB)
A: On what is your last slave die of?
Q: Can you send me more information about Koala Bear racing in South Africa (USA)
A: Off-tra-li-en is the large island in the middle of the Pacific. Af-ri-ka is the great triangular continent south of Europe, where there is no ... ah, forget it. Sure, Koala Bear races are held every Tuesday night in Hillbrow. Come naked.
Q: Which direction is north in South Africa? USA)
A: Refer to the south and then turn 180 degrees.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into South Africa? (UK)
A: Why? Why do not you the finger, just like us.
Q: Are there any perfume in South Africa? (France)
A: No, we do not need. WE do not stink!
Q: Can you tell me the regions in South Africa where there are fewer women than men? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
Q: Celebrate Christmas in South Africa? (France)
A: Occasionally - that is, about once a year.
Q: Is it the bubonic plague in South Africa? (Germany)
A: No. But you take them with yet!
Q: Will I be there to speak English? (USA)
A: Sure - if you can master this language, you speak there as well.
Q: Please send me a list of hospitals that have a serum against rattlesnake bites. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes are only in A-me-ri-ka, where you come from. In South Africa there is only completely harmless snakes - these can be handled safely and are ideal as a playmate for hamsters and other pets.
Q: Are there supermarkets in Cape Town, and is there year-round milk? (Germany)
A: No, we are a nation of strict vegan berry pickers. Milk is illegal here.
F Rain: it actually in South Africa? I have never seen on TV that it's raining. As the plants grow there, then? (UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and dig it in here. Then we watch as they run slowly.